It's breast cancer... -Originally written February 7, 2023

 In my first blog I mentioned how I had a breast biopsy as I'd found a lump in November. Well, the pathology report came back...it's breast cancer. They're saying locally advanced breast cancer. I saw my surgeon this morning...he said type 2B and maybe even stage 3. They're not quite sure yet. I get a CT scan tomorrow evening, and I need a bone scan and a breast MRI. They're hoping to have it all back not by this Friday, but the next.

One word came up today that truly terrified me...and that was chemotherapy. He said usually with a lump this large (7 cm) they give chemo to reduce the size of it before providing surgery of any kind. I...am scared to death of chemotherapy. As I mentioned in my book I have a phobia of nausea and vomiting. By the Grace of God, I dealt with it with Mark because I loved him so much...I don't know how love was able to accomplish that but it did. But going through it myself is a whole different ball game. I am very scared.

I did find out it's Estrogen and Progesterone that's causing the lump...it's hormone driven. Not HER2 or triple-negative breast cancer (the worst kind, really.) This was good news to me but chemo still scares the crap out of me. I don't know how I'm going to handle all of this. Since I did that first blog I figured I may as well do the update. I sometimes wonder when life will just be calm and happy. I'm starting to feel like a character in Les Miserables. The story is aptly titled. It hasn't even been a year and a half since Mark passed and here I am...going to the Health Sciences for all kinds of tests and God only knows what in the future.

2023...so far you are an asshole. But I'm not really shocked. Things just seem to get worse and worse. All I can do now is listen to my oncology team and pray to the Lord that this go smoothly and I will beat this and be all the stronger for it.

Updates to come I guess...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Outstanding Creator Awards Nominee

Image
 So, I submitted my book to The Outstanding Creator Awards competition a couple of months ago, and they also provide you with an editorial review. I've had a lot going on so I'm only now making a blog post about it here.  So along with the nomination for the contest, I'm sharing a link to the review. I was thankful to them for referring to Mark as my husband as I had explained what had happened in the book. We never got to get "officially" married but we wanted to and I consider him my husband to this day. I took his last name as my own and wear a ring in memory of what could have been on my left hand. There really is no recipe for how to be considered married within scripture. There are sacred  traditions  both within Judaism and Christianity (that it's probably safer to adhere to if you can.) But we thought we had longer and well...you can read it in the book 😉 I was once told by a Priest, that God is not bound by His sacraments and ordinances and so for me...
Read more

My Book is an Outstanding Creator Award Winner!

Image
Well, the results came in late in the evening on August 14th for the Outstanding Creator Awards. I placed in eight categories and received two honourable mentions!  Here are the results: (Super-Category) Best Non-Fiction Book of Summer 2024: 3rd place Autobiographies & Memoirs: 3rd place Biographies: 2nd place Addiction / Alcoholism: 2nd place Mental Health / Mental Illness Books: 2nd place Romance: 3rd place  Health / Healthcare/ Medical / Pharmaceutical Books: 3rd place Grief and Coping / Trauma: 2nd place Honourable mentions: Best couple - Me and Mark Best Moment: The moment they loved was when I sang “Anywhere” by Evanescence and “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis when Mark was on comfort care (among other songs). They also included when I got a small gold pirate chest for Mark's foreign currency he’d collected over the years when he panhandled. To say I am over the moon is an understatement. This book was written out of my grief over Mark. I started it as a website...
Read more

It's spring again and I didn't know if I'd live to see it

Image
 So the spring equinox is passed and as usual, St. John's doesn't quite feel like spring yet. Winter is always hard on me because of seasonal affective disorder but as of March 2023 it was so much worse. My breast cancer had me forced into menopause at 40 starting last March...so here I was in the middle of winter getting major sweats at 41. There have been some very stressful events involving some friends who are having troubles, and aside from that? All through February I had one foot in the grave leading up to my February 29th CT scan. The combo of it all had my hot flashes triggered like crazy. It feels like a heating pad covering my whole body when it happens and I absolutely hate it. My last CT before this one was on November 30th, and no joke, I got the results on December 1st. God heard my prayers because I was in absolute agony. You see, my breast went from being very hard and discoloured with a pulled in nipple to looking almost completely normal. This is a good thin...
Read more